Defining a Relationship

9:30 AM

Before blogging, I had a pretty strict interpretation of relationships.  I pretty much thought that you got to know each other for two or three months before you began your relationship.  After that, another six months should pass before that three word phrase pops out of your mouth.  After you've been together for about two or three years, it's time to get engaged for a year before having a huge Pinterest-style wedding.  I hated the idea of people getting married within a year of meeting someone.  Being married didn't seem like something you should do before you're out of college.  Marriages that didn't look like they belonged on a TLC show made me cringe because that's what every bride wants, right?

When I find a new blog I immediately look at the writer's love story.  Love has always been so interesting to me, and even in my most bitter stage of single-life I still loved the idea of love.  I just didn't understand it.  As I read through blog after blog, I noticed so many different love stories. Happy couples who were married within a few months of meeting each other, couples who had a small wedding without all of the fluff, couples who were married at a young age. I began to realize that I will never understand love, as hard as I might try.  I began to realize that there are certain things that you can't time and control in life, and emotions are probably number one on the list of uncontrollable things.  All you can do is let them happen and appreciate them while supporting the emotions of your loved ones.
I admit that I knew I wanted to be with Paul the second he walked through my apartment door.  That scared me because I thought there was a perfect time-frame that I needed to follow.  Less than a month later we did make it "official", Facebook and everything.  I still worry that I'm going to get the timing wrong.  I still get nervous that I'll say something to someone and they'll criticize my relationship because it's still fairly new.  I try not to let this get in the way of how I feel, but it does affect who I talk to about my relationship.  I absolutely adore my boyfriend, and I want to be able to express that.  I also want to be able to do so without judgment and even though I don't think that will ever be possible, I do believe that that shouldn't stop me.  A relationship is only defined by the two people who are involved in it.  It is about what makes them happy, and about what makes sense to them.

Between my personal relationship and the stories posted on blogs, I am beginning to understand more about love.  There is no perfect timing, there is no magic formula, there is no control or prediction.  You can't schedule it in your planner and you can't just put it on a to-do list.  It actually sounds like an organized control-freak's worst nightmare.  Oddly enough, that's part of what makes relationships so exciting and beautiful.  They can feel chaotic and comforting at the same time while they push you to the very edge of your routine.  You must learn to not only grow as an individual, but also to grow as part of a couple.  Even though I am enjoying every minute with my boyfriend, I can't help but worry about the future of our relationship from time to time. The fact that he can put up with me and all of these crazy thoughts is such a miracle, and I know that I have no reason to worry because everything will happen as it is supposed to happen.  We've had a great two months together as a couple, and I am looking forward to the next month with him.
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  1. I used to think there was a certain timing for everything, too! But when I met Kevin (my boyfriend) everything just fell into place, and yeah it was fast paced- but that worked for us!

    Within a few weeks of first meeting, we exchanged "I love you," and less than a month after the day we met, we were official. Now, we are living together! We just celebrated our 5 month anniversary last week.

    I was scared how people would react to us moving in together, but it works for us because we're happy and we knew it was a big step, but it was one we wanted to take together.

  2. This was such a good post! I feel the exact same way about love, I love to hear people's how you met story, even though I've never been in love. And you're right the fact that I can't put it in my calendar or on a to-do list makes it even more scary. You and Paul are too cute!