Are You a Door or a Window

12:37 AM

Have you ever stood in front of the tv while someone was watching their show (before you could push pause and rewind) and heard this person say, "You make a better door than you do a window." I'm sure you get the joke, but for clarity's sake: the window is transparent, but you can't see through a door. The door has to be open to see what is behind it. I've been thinking about this saying a lot lately, probably because I miss my army family whose mom introduced the phrase to me. Even though this is clearly used to tell someone to get the hell out of the way of the tv, I think it can also be used to describe personal transparency.

Maybe you're more of a door. You open up to certain people at certain times. You are more likely to open up about certain topics, and you aren't afraid to just leave it unanswered. Some people seem to just walk right in while other people have to try several times before either being allowed in or having to just give up. You tend to value privacy and selectivity. Perhaps you feel like more of a window, placing importance on transparency. You feel that people can just look right into you, glancing only at what they want to see or surveying you to see what's around. Sure you can block onlookers out sometimes, but usually it just makes the view a little fuzzier. Other times you just throw the window right open for all to see unless you feel a little stubborn to open or quick to close that day.

I don't think that this is a binary, and perhaps it's more of a spectrum. You might feel as if you're a sliding glass door that sometimes gets stuck. Or maybe you're a frosted window. It's possible that you see yourself as a door with a peephole or a window that can't seem to stay open. Maybe you just think I'm weird and wonder why the hell I even thought of this. However you see yourself is representative of how you feel you can share thoughts or let people in. It's simply another metaphor for talking about trust and confiding in someone or getting to know people.

I see myself as a window, large and rectangular. There are no shades, but sometimes it is hard to get me open. Once I am open, I might snap shut which might make people wonder if the opening was worth the struggle. As a window I also feel that I am partially reflective of other people. I do my best to relate to them and find common ground while also realizing that we have differences.

How do you picture yourself? Do you make a better door or window?

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