Being a Woman can be Scary

10:33 PM

After my Tuesday class ended at 8:30pm I went to CVS and then waited at the bus stop.  The bus doesn't usually come until after 9:00pm, sometimes closer to 9:30pm.  Usually I just text my friends and boyfriend until I get home and I just keep to myself.  A guy walked up to me and asked me if I smoked.  I told him no and then continued to look at my phone.  He sat down next to me for a couple of minutes before realizing I was not interested in talking.  I was relieved when he got up and walked away.  I don't like talking to strangers at all, but I especially hate talking to males I don't know.  A few minutes later he sat down and asked if I was from around here.  I simply replied no and once again attended to my text conversations.  He asked where I was from a couple of times before I finally replied.  He asked if I liked it in Chapel Hill and when I nodded he assumed it was because of the parties.  I didn't answer and he suggested I was a good girl and proceeded to say something along the lines of "I need a good girl to keep me out of trouble."  I kept ignoring him and I thought he finally gave up.

A few minutes later he asked me where my boyfriend was and why he wasn't here.  I responded that I don't feel comfortable talking about my love life and stated that I was very happy with my relationship.  He assumed that that meant that I either a) was single or b) had a boyfriend that wasn't nearby.  He asked me if I was ever sexually frustrated.  That's when MT called me to make sure I was alright, so I got up and walked away from the bus stop.  I would have walked away sooner, but I wasn't feeling well and didn't want to pass out or throw up.  I also wasn't sure if he would just follow me, and I didn't want to escalate from harassment to stalking.  The bus came soon after MT called me and I was so relieved.  I made it home safely without being physically harmed, but I felt a little shaken.

It's not about whether I was physically or verbally harassed.  It's about the fact that I was made to feel uncomfortable because I am a woman.  I felt vulnerable, I felt attacked, and I felt sick.  I don't mind chatting with people, but he was clearly hitting on me.  What made me even more upset was that there were several people around me and no one seemed to notice how offensive he was being or how uncomfortable I was.  Nobody said a damn thing to him.  I could only ignore him for so long, but maybe he would have left me alone if someone stepped in and asked him to leave me alone.  All of these bystanders and nobody could say a damn thing.  I don't want to feel vulnerable.  I don't want to feel uncomfortable.  I don't want to feel attacked.  I don't want to feel like men think they can just say or do whatever they want.  I don't want to walk around with my keys between my knuckles while I glance around to make sure no one is near me.  I just want to feel safe and confident and comfortable.
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  1. Wow the way you handled yourself was pretty awesome-you go girl! But some guys sadly don't get the picture when you don't want to talk to them ad thats upsetting.